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paddy (for lauren)

from acoutsic! by Adam Henry Garcia

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about

Written by me and Scott Adams for a movie. I think my favorite from our time writing tunes together.

lyrics

Preston and Monty stood at the bar
Eyeing a beautiful lass from a far
They were so lame, no game to start

Preston swigged down the rest of his dark beer
Most people in town figured Monty was queer
They tried to hide their fear

Both took a step they were tired of restin’
But Monty’s step was one inch further than Preston’s
Prest noticed this, he balled his fist may the best win.

They both saw themselves as talented men
Wearing blazers with patches and hair on their chin
It was over before it began

They exchanged halfway competitive glances
And then both men decided to take their chances
Both were quite poor at scoring romances well back to the matter at hand…

Preston enraged, he pushed Monty down
Monty up quick started looking around
He grabbed a drink and poured it on Preston’s crown

Preston’s reaction completely absurd
Threw his drink in Mont’s face and then without a word
The bouncer threw out these two sopping turds

Both in the street and they’re ready to brawl
Preston and Monty both dripping with gaul
A passerby said ‘hey their dicks must be small’
And small raisin sized balls…

First an open fist punch
Then a kick that just missed
If you wanna see a good fight then
Cross these two fucks off the list

Then biting of skin
Then the pulling of hair
They say the best man will win
But he ain’t out there…

I’m in here with a beer and your girl’s attention
When we leave, lucky me, we’ll do things I won’t mention
Crushed your glasses, kicked your degrees
Crapped on your inflated sense of self-importance that was bread from your idiosyncratic invention, mother fuckers!

First an open fist punch
Then the pulling of hair
They say the best man will win but he ain’t over there

The stupid games that you play
Are a girl’s biggest pet peeve
Fellas if you want to get laid
Don’t wear your dick
That super small dick
That tiny, tiny dick on your patched blazer sleeve!

credits

from acoutsic!, track released October 4, 2011
Performance - Adam Henry Garcia
Written by - Adam Henry Garcia & Scott Adams

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Adam Henry Garcia Burlington, Vermont

Singer/Songwriter out of Burlington VT. The style is folk, acoustic pop, acoustic alternative. Lo fi, personal and sometimes profane. Honest. Enjoy! Email: Adamhenrygarcia@gmail.com

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